Saturday, October 21, 2006

What would you do?


From the "Top 100 Things I'd Do If Ever I Became an Evil Overlord"

  1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

  2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
  3. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
  4. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
  5. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
  6. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
  7. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
  8. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
  9. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
  10. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
  11. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
  12. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

4 comments:

Prabhu Guptara said...

Thanks for your comment on my Blogsite.

As I don't have an e-mail address for you, I'm taking the liberty of posting to your blogsite....

Do you know Yoder's book, THE POLITICS OF JESUS?

And do you know any of the writings of Jacques Ellul? Specifically his book VIOLENCE?

warmly
prabhu
email: prabhu.guptara@ubs.com

Prabhu Guptara said...

Prabhu Guptara said...
Thanks for your comment on my Blogsite.

As I don't have an e-mail address for you, I'm taking the liberty of posting to your blogsite....

Do you know Yoder's book, THE POLITICS OF JESUS?

And do you know any of the writings of Jacques Ellul? Specifically his book VIOLENCE?

warmly
prabhu
email: prabhu.guptara@ubs.com

Prabhu Guptara said...

Prabhu Guptara said...
Thanks for your comment on my Blogsite.

As I don't have an e-mail address for you, I'm taking the liberty of posting to your blogsite....

Do you know Yoder's book, THE POLITICS OF JESUS?

And do you know any of the writings of Jacques Ellul? Specifically his book VIOLENCE?

warmly
prabhu
email: prabhu.guptara@ubs.com

Kelsos said...

Isn't that the bad guy from 'Flash Gordon'? Just curious.....